STA is now Ten Years Old

AU magazine Talk To TYPT About 'Who Invented Love?'

"Everyone who has ever been in love helped invent it" - Bateman

What in your own opinion is The Young Playthings' greatest strength?
I think someone said the other night they liked us for our positivity and I took that as a great compliment – there are far too many dour, boring, skinny jeans, pale skin and pathetic pouts indie bands around, especially in the UK, who think moody = sexy (it doesn’t). There’s no melodramatic posturing about us, but neither do I think we’re as boring as a warts-n-all kitchen sink drama – we’ve got a healthy sense of the theatrics of good pop music – we like performing. So, look, I know this sounds very boastful but you did ask…

So, who did invent love, then? Young Playthings theories, please...
Jørs Truly and I were walking down Bethnal Green Road in east London, discussing love. He’s pretty much a doctor of anthropology and he said that love is a social construct – like, different cultures have different interpretations of what love is. Being a real romantic, this hit me hard, so we had a debate about it, and I thought about it some more, and came to the conclusion that, actually, he might be right. In my darker, crueler moments, I sometimes spring this theory upon my girlfriend – like, I don’t really love you, it’s just my cultural programming talking. Likewise, you don’t really believe that if I buy you the biggest diamond in the world I am not only the most loving and kindest man on earth but also the hottest lover but, gosh, it does look great on your finger, so you can fool yourself into actually believing that. The human brain is an incredible machine, and The Young Playthings are all about celebrating that. Therefore, to answer your question: we did. Everyone who has ever been in love helped invent it. It’s constantly evolving. Beautiful.

What if love hadn't been invented? What then?
Well, the worst thing that would have happened is that we wouldn’t have made ‘Who Invented Love?’ We might still be in a band but we’d probably be a really angry, demented hardcore band. Lesser problems arising from a lack of love in the world could be pandemic social disconnection. The great philosophical question that follows is then, if we hadn’t invented love would we still have hatred? Because, you know, you can’t have melody without noise to help define what melody is, and likewise, you can’t have hatred without love, to help define what love is. So, without love, we might also not have war, domestic violence, gang violence, white collar crime etc. Would it be worth sacrificing love if we were, as a result, also guaranteed no hatred? It would be a postmodernist’s wet dream – utter apathy, a zombified world. Ugh. Personally, I’d rather have my (socially constructed) love for my nearest and dearest, as well as my irrational desire to beat the living shit out of the worthless shithead in Fones 4 U who asked me what my problem was when I said I didn’t want to buy a new handset because I had to add a £10 top-up to a SIM card I didn’t need.

Is it possible to have hot sex with a girl you don't love?
Absolutely. Maybe even hotter.

What happens when The Young Playthings aren't so young and playful anymore?
We’ll change our name to 'The (Postmodern) Rolling Stones', make crap soft rock records, sell-out Wembley Arena every year playing nostalgia shows for our smug, now comfortably enfranchised, home-owning generation, holiday in Monaco, and fuck our own daughters. Actually, that sounds pretty playful.
 

- David AU, Alternative Ulster