Chordblossom Fan Q&A with JPL's Cahir And Jamie

Derry swear words, collective penile length and who would win between a monkey and a bear with knives. Oh, and there's a bit about music too...


With Cahir's solos becoming increasingly overblown and borderline ridiculous over the last 2 LPs, have you considered hiring 3rd party guest axemen for a new album to ensure this exponential curve of guitar savagery is maintained? (Suggestions: Steve Van Zandt, Eddie Van Halen, Johnny Black From LaFaro). Joe Dougan.
Jamie: Hey Cahir’s solos only went totally porno on the last record, not the one before. And it wasn’t his fault. Andrew and I were slipping Thrillaxzepam into his tea and coffee morning noon and night for a year to achieve the result required... But I do get your point Joe. So I say bring us the spirit of Gary Moore and stick it stage right of me, pump it full of Thrillaxzepam and see if he can keep up with Cahir.
Cahir: The dude from the answer is writing all the solos on this album.    
Collectively how big is Jetplane Landing's penis?
Jamie: As big as PJ Harvey’s, but definitely no bigger. A sixty foot queenie if you like.
Cahir: How long is a piece of string?
Salted or sweet popcorn?
Jamie: Fuck all forms of popcorn. But I’d go for salty if you were throwing it at me in an unjustifiable rage.
Why did you decide to reform? Paul Brown
Jamie: We have not reformed. We just took ages to make our fourth album.
How long did it take u guys to record the last 3 albums, in days? Johnjo
Jamie: Johnjo you’re asking for a lot of recall there. The first album took a year of weekends; the second about two months; the third about six weeks, it think, so we are getting quicker.
Do you think 9/11 is an inside job? Danny
Jamie: Zzzz’ds. Love you Danny but Zzzz’ds to that question. (read Cahir’s answer to find out just how many Zzzz’ds this question is)
Cahir: I think yes, but look at the evidence and make up your own mind.
Do cows drink milk?
Jamie: Yep, and Frangelico.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how happy are you lot with the news songs? Roger
Jamie: But these songs go up to eleven.
Cahir: I'm a 9/10
What did you think of the Twilight films? which one did Cahir cry at? Dom
Jamie: Mon Dieu! This is the most offensive question I have ever had to answer. I don't watch Twilight! Grow up Dom, stop watching children’s films. Buy an Afghan hound, take it for a high speed drive or something (see answer to Gary Todd's question below).??
Cahir: I think Twilight is the bestest love story ever told and tears flowed across the entire trilogy.
When are you playing live again?
Jamie: Sometime next year, a full UK tour, I doubt we will play before then.
What songs are always a given when you are playing live and which ones do u never ever consider, and why? Stephanie
Jamie: Stephanie I don’t think we have played a single show without playing "Acrimony" since it was written. It’s always on the setlist; it’s too much fun. That's a really good question Stephanie… I’m looking at you Dom.
Cahir: "I Opt Out", "Backlash Cop" and "Calculate The Risk" are always favourites live because they rock live and loud, where as songs like 'do it now' and 'miracle of science' work better on record.
What would you do if the did play Les Savy Fav on the radio? Peter File
Jamie: They kind of did for a bit. When we released 'Backlash Cop' their record “Let’s Stay Friends” kind of went big on Radio 1, which absolutely killed the sentiment of our song at the time. This was fine with us because we were obviously into their band. Luckily, or unluckily if you are in Les Savy Fav, it looks like they might have been eaten up and spat out by the taste makers and our song will become relevant again soon. Hopefully the natural balance will be restored: they won’t get played on the radio, but they will make great records like they used to. Yeah!
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a monkey with a knife?
Jamie: ask Cahir.
Cahir: Bear.
Is rape still cahirs party trick?
Jamie: If he said that (which I hope he didn’t) I want to distance myself from that statement as far as I possibly can. My legal team has been informed.
Cahir: I've moved on to murder.
If you ate a Pastie and then antipasti in the same meal would they cancel each other out...leaving you still hungry? Rob
Jamie: Isn't Antipasti always the first course of any grand Italian feast? Therefore your question is redundant because you would eat the antipasti first and then move on to the pastie, or maybe something like a Lasagne alla Cacciatora, which is the closest I can think of to the traditional Cornish pastie in Italian cuisine.
Cahir: They would cancel each other out - but your burps would still taste weird.
l heard a rumor that this album will be a 5 disc concept album - is that true? Joanie Robinson
Jamie: Each track of our album will be planted on the surface of the planets currently known to mankind on its release date. You will have to find your own mode of transport: rocket, time- transportation, a disused USA shuttle perhaps, just to listen to them. It’s the first simultaneous multi-planet release I’ve heard of. You can always trust us to do something different!
Why don't you step aside and leave room for younger bands come through? Santi Cumanas (Madrid)
Jamie: That is another very good question, and one I have been asking myself as we get ready to put out our album. All I can say is that this in no way any kind of nostalgia trip. We will not be playing designer sets for the nostalgia market, or trying to be any part of that kind of misty-eyed reflection. We have been offered many shows over the intervening years but have never felt it the right time to go on the road as Jetplane Landing again. But now, hopefully, we will be playing with a totally new set of bands. We will definitely not be playing only old songs when we tour, the new stuff will get a strong outing too. You never know, maybe this new album will be the best we've made yet.
Cahir: There's plenty of room for everyone, but let's face it there hasn't been a decent band in over 10 years we had to come back ;-)
Why do dogs risk getting insects in their eyes when they stick their heads out of car windows? Gary Todd
Jamie: It’s one of the great sights isn’t it? Passing an Afghan hound with its hair swept back like a big ginger Lemmy, heading in the opposite direction at 90 mph. Crazy days and hazy nights.
What is the meaning of 'Once Like A Spark' as an album title? God
Jamie: Good question God. It comes from a poem by E.E. Cummings. Check it out; Google it. There’s your meaning (or not), you big old omnipresent sod.
if you were a wrestler, what would your finishing move be? Conor
Jamie: I’ve been watching some real wresting at these Olympics. Those boys become very good friends don't they - if you see what I mean - before the end of a fight. I reckon they could destroy fake American wrestlers. I despise them as the childish load of sub- Disney, all-America, U.S.A. U.S.A punch the air, bad acting, full-fat- Coke, crap caricatures they are. That said: I’m going for The Big Daddy Splash.
Cahir: The Gorilla Press
Can u ask cahir to tell me 5 of the best derry swear words? Alex
Cahir: dicksplash, ballbag, Jute, slippery pig, ballroot. Some have two words but they sound like one when used in Derry.
If you could force Cahir to listen to one album locked in a room on repeat for a day. What would it be? Alice
Jamie: I’d record an album called “Nirvana Weren’t The Be All and End All of Rock Music”. It would consist of mainly just this mantra chanted over a background of The Stone Roses’ "Fools Gold" riff repeating over and over and over. Also I would gaffer tape the headphones to his head and cut off his thumbs.
If you could make a band from any musician in the world, from any time, who would be in that band? James Trouton
Jamie: Sax: John Coltrane; Flamenco guitar: Paco de Lucia; Electric guitar: Hendrix; Vocals: Camaron de la Isla; Lyrics: Li Po - no drums, no bass, no crowd, just a mist floating above a frosty winter lake while someone says to you, "Have you heard this band, they're amazing!" You turn to see, and realize you already have.
Where do babies come from?
Jamie: Us
Cahir: Balls and Jutes.

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